Wanted: Assassin (joke)

Siouxsie · December 20, 2006, 01:34 PM

After a lengthy hiring and background check process, the C.I.A. had finally narrowed their search for the perfect assassin down to three men. The interviewer has the first applicant brought in and has him seated across from him.

The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her."

The first applicant looks him dead in the eye and says "I can kill anyone on this planet but her. I love her with all of my heart."

The interviewer, with a cold and logical tone to his voice, says "I'm sorry. You're not the person for the job."

A few moments later, he brings in the second applicant and has him seated in the same chair.

The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her."

The man takes the gun, heads into the adjoining room and closes the door behind him. After several minutes, the man emerges with his cheeks soaked with tears. "I had the gun pressed to her head, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I love her and I cannot do that."

Once again, the interviewer says "You are not the person for the job."

He brings in the third applicant and has him seated across from him.

The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her."

The man quickly grabs the gun, darts to the other room and slams the door behind him. Soon after the door shuts, a rapid succession of gunfire is heard, followed by yelling and screaming, followed by the sounds of crashing and banging and thumping along the walls.

After fifteen minutes, the man emerges from the room, his face gouged and dripping blood, missing tufts of hair from his scalp, cuts and scrapes criss-crossing his body.

The interviewer quickly asks him "What in the world happened in there?"

The man responds, obviously agitated and a tad out of breath, "Some asshat loaded the gun with blanks, so I had to take her out with the freakin' chair."

~~Kioshimitzu~~ · December 21, 2006, 01:33 PM

Thats funny.

hahaha

dragondeath46 · December 21, 2006, 01:37 PM

Best. Joke. Ever.

Riel · December 21, 2006, 02:30 PM

Hm a bit too violent for my taste.

I guess I'm like the first assassin of the joke.

Shade4 · December 21, 2006, 02:58 PM

Hahaha that was funny

darkblayde · January 16, 2007, 03:40 PM

ROFL

)

that was too funny.

December 20, 2006, 01:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
Siouxsie Member Character Info Anneka 70 Undead Warlock Emerald Dream US PvP Guild: Sanguineous Dragons	Wanted: Assassin (joke) After a lengthy hiring and background check process, the C.I.A. had finally narrowed their search for the perfect assassin down to three men. The interviewer has the first applicant brought in and has him seated across from him. The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her." The first applicant looks him dead in the eye and says "I can kill anyone on this planet but her. I love her with all of my heart." The interviewer, with a cold and logical tone to his voice, says "I'm sorry. You're not the person for the job." A few moments later, he brings in the second applicant and has him seated in the same chair. The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her." The man takes the gun, heads into the adjoining room and closes the door behind him. After several minutes, the man emerges with his cheeks soaked with tears. "I had the gun pressed to her head, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I love her and I cannot do that." Once again, the interviewer says "You are not the person for the job." He brings in the third applicant and has him seated across from him. The interviewer tells him, "In the room to my right is your wife, sitting in a chair waiting on you. Take this gun and kill her." The man quickly grabs the gun, darts to the other room and slams the door behind him. Soon after the door shuts, a rapid succession of gunfire is heard, followed by yelling and screaming, followed by the sounds of crashing and banging and thumping along the walls. After fifteen minutes, the man emerges from the room, his face gouged and dripping blood, missing tufts of hair from his scalp, cuts and scrapes criss-crossing his body. The interviewer quickly asks him "What in the world happened in there?" The man responds, obviously agitated and a tad out of breath, "Some asshat loaded the gun with blanks, so I had to take her out with the freakin' chair."

December 21, 2006, 01:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
~~Kioshimitzu~~ Banned Character Info Kioshimitzu 60 Human Warlock Alterac Mountain US PvP Guild: RFWAK Profile: Blizzard Armory	Re: Wanted: Assassin (joke) Thats funny. hahaha

December 21, 2006, 01:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
dragondeath46 Member Character Info Soren 70 Orc Warlock Burning Blade US PvP Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 5/45/11	Re: Wanted: Assassin (joke) Best. Joke. Ever.

December 21, 2006, 02:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
Riel Member Character Info Riel 60 Gnome Warlock Deathwing Euro PvP Guild: Exiled Profile: CTProfile	Re: Wanted: Assassin (joke) Hm a bit too violent for my taste. I guess I'm like the first assassin of the joke.

December 21, 2006, 02:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shade4 Lurker Character Info Shadornius 48 Human Warlock Thunderlord US PvP Guild: Disgruntled	Re: Wanted: Assassin (joke) Hahaha that was funny

January 16, 2007, 03:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
darkblayde Member Character Info Darkblayde 70 Undead Warlock Tanaris US PvE Guild: Renewal Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 48/2/11	Re: Wanted: Assassin (joke) ROFL ) that was too funny.