Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies...

EarthAngel · April 02, 2007, 09:25 PM

To bring a chuckle to your day!

Amazingly simple home remedies...

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the Day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING ... BUT THEY STILL BRING SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Milicious · April 02, 2007, 09:45 PM

Nice

Rytch · April 02, 2007, 09:56 PM

Brilliant!

Whymfrost · April 02, 2007, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EarthAngel

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Well said. *shudder*

Malvolius · April 03, 2007, 12:32 AM

*applause*
Good stuff. I wish I was feeling witty enough to contribute something, but it's 2:30 am here. So thanks for bringing a chuckle to me before bed.

Wait! Here's one!
Never pet a burning dog.
Cookie for those who recognize where it's from.

Pax · April 07, 2007, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EarthAngel

To bring a chuckle to your day!

Thought for the Day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING ... BUT THEY STILL BRING SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Damn rights, i love slinkies

the | n00b · April 08, 2007, 06:14 AM

Hehe, these are great. :>

dragondeath46 · April 08, 2007, 02:52 PM

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

I've actually done something like that in order to forget about the pain that was in my knee from a bike accident.

April 02, 2007, 09:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
EarthAngel Member	Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... To bring a chuckle to your day! Amazingly simple home remedies... 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache. 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. Thought for the Day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING ... BUT THEY STILL BRING SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

April 02, 2007, 09:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
Milicious Lurker Character Info Milicious 64 Undead Warlock Shadowsong US	Re: Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... Nice

April 02, 2007, 09:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rytch Lurker Character Info Torgr 70 Human Warlock Azjol-Nerub US PvE Guild: Hammers of Justice Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 7/5/49	Re: Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... Brilliant!

April 03, 2007, 12:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
Malvolius Member Character Info Malvolius 70 Gnome Warlock Staghelm US PvE Guild: Staghelm Saints	Re: Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... applause Good stuff. I wish I was feeling witty enough to contribute something, but it's 2:30 am here. So thanks for bringing a chuckle to me before bed. Wait! Here's one! Never pet a burning dog. Cookie for those who recognize where it's from.

April 08, 2007, 06:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
the \| n00b Member Character Info Koris 80 Orc Warlock Aegwynn Euro PvP Guild: Söldner des Schattens Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 54/0/17	Re: Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... Hehe, these are great. :>

April 08, 2007, 02:52 PM	#8 (permalink)
dragondeath46 Member Character Info Soren 70 Orc Warlock Burning Blade US PvP Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 5/45/11	Re: Funny - Amazingly simple home remedies... 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache. I've actually done something like that in order to forget about the pain that was in my knee from a bike accident.