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November 29, 2007, 12:06 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
Character Info
sassyevil 80 Undead Warlock Garona US PvE Guild: The Sesame Street Gang Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 02/14/55 |
So I heard a good one this morning......
****if your blonde and this offended you, I am truly sorry**** *subsitute blonde or for any non-offensive color Two Blondes* are sitting on a park bench enjoying the evening breeze when the first blonde* asks the second blonde* which is further, The Moon or Miami? The second blonde* looks at the first blonde* and says, You can't see Miami from here! The Game A lawyer and a blonde* woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde* is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's* attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde* doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's* turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mail's to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde* and hands her $500. The blonde* takes the $500 and goes back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up And asks, Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The blonde* reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep. |
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November 29, 2007, 02:27 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Re: So I heard a good one this morning......
2 Rogues, 1 cup ? |
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December 03, 2007, 03:43 PM
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#3 (permalink) | |
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Re: So I heard a good one this morning......
Quote:
Instant Cast: 2 Succy's 1 Goblet. |
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December 03, 2007, 04:33 PM
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#4 (permalink) | |
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Character Info
Wrecktol 70 Undead Warlock Argent Dawn US RP Guild: Circle of Fear Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 24/37/0 |
Re: So I heard a good one this morning......
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March 14, 2008, 04:36 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Character Info
Vendic 70 Human Warlock Velen US PvE Guild: Redirection Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 45/5/11 |
Re: So I heard a good one this morning......
Here are a few I was sent recently: So a bear, a lock, a warrior, and a shadow priest walk into a bar... The barkeep looks at the bear and screams, reaching for a gun, only to have the bullets bounce off the fur. The bear roars and starts swiping everything. The warlock, seeing the bear has sufficent aggro, starts hellfiring, screaming to the shadow priest for heals. The shadow priest responds "I'm sorry, I didn't learn those spells" while melting the faces of some orcs who were just passing through. Meanwhile the warrior whines about OPed bears and how they need a nerf cause she can't get aggro, despite the fact she is only 44 and the bear is 70 and really really angry. When it's all said and done, the SP and the lock get into a fight over some epic DPS gear that dropped. The bear sits in the corner with a tooth pick in his mouth. After a moment, he coughs and a plate helmet pops out... ================================================== =========== There was a Shaman, who was just and fair. Once he encountered a strong and wise dragon. When he finally slayed it (with 50% of life lost), a dragon's spirit appeared in front of him. Dragon spirit: "Shaman, you are strong, wise and fair. For that, I will grant you three wishes" Shaman: "My first wish is that I have unique full Shaman gear." And the Shaman appears in plus 2000 all skills and resistances, stamina, intellect, strength, agility, spirit... and cool brown-colored gear. Dragon Spirit: "Your wish came true. What do you want now?" Shaman: "I want to switch my class to utterly invincible class!" And the Shaman appears in a class called Uberalles with all available armors and weapons with mana, rage and energy bar. Dragon spirit: "You have one last wish, Shaman" Uberalles: "I want my class to be invincible!" And he became a Shaman again. ================================================== ============ An alliance army is marching across the barrens to raid Orgrimmar when a Shaman comes running up and makes a rude gesture at the General. The General points to two of his soldiers and orders them to kill the Shaman. The Shaman runs away round a mountain and the soldiers follow. After a few minutes the Shaman comes back with no sign of the Alliance soldiers. He insults the General who promptly sends ten officers to kill the Shaman. The Shaman runs round the hill and returns again. The General getting very annoyed orders forty men to kill the shaman. They all chase him round the hill and for ten minutes nothing happens. Then one badly wounded soldier comes back limping and says "Sir, it was a trap! There's two of them!" ================================================== =============== An elf, human and dwarf walk into a bar, and all order a beer. Suddenly the elf sees there's a fly in his beer, so he pushes it away in disgust and leaves the bar. Then the human also notices a fly in his beer, so he picks it out and drinks the beer. Then the dwarf sees a fly in his beer. He picks it up, holds it over his glass and yells: 'Spit it all out, ya lil bastard! ================================================== ============== A dwarf goes into a bar in Stormwind and orders four beers. He starts drinking them, one sip each at a time, and after about a half hour he's finished all four, pays, and leaves. The next day he returns, doing the same thing. The bartender looks at him funny, but pours the four drinks and serves them. He drinks them the same way, until he finishes all four, pays, and leaves again. The third day, when the dwarf returns, the barkeep can't take it anymore. "If you drink the beers one at a time, they'll all be cold and won't get flat at the end. Why do you want all four at the same time?" The dwarf explains: I have a brother in Ironforge, one in Booty Bay, and one who lives on Theramore Isle. We can't get together as much as we want, so at the same time each day we all go to a bar and order a round. We drink 'em all and pretend we're all at a bar together". The barkeeper nods and serves four beers. Nobody else disturbs the dwarf while he finishes off the four beers. The next day the dwarf comes into the bar, but only orders three beers. Silence falls. Nobody at the bar can look the poor dwarf in the eye. Finally, the barkeeper walks over to try to console him. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about it? tell us what happened to your fourth brother". The dwarf looks confused for a moment, then bursts out laughing. "It's not what you think!!! I just quit drinking today!" |
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