Im still crying laughing while I type this...

Jubal · October 01, 2004, 01:02 PM

First let me preface this with, I am military (14 years) and I am a catlover. I have been my entire life. But...I think all that did was help with the visualization necessary for the true humor of the following.

Enjoy...

The 'G.I. Way' to Clean Your Toilet:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1 cup of pet shampoo to the water
in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one swift movement, toss the cat in the toilet and slam both lids closed BEFORE his claws dig into the porcelain. Most likely you will need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Disregard the noises that come from the toilet. Remember, even though they will never admit it, cats actually enjoy this type of special pampering.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "power-rinse" and ensures that you get all those hard-to-reach spots.

6. Have someone else open the front and back doors of your home, ESPECIALLY SCREEN DOORS! Also have them ensure that there are no people between the bathroom and the nearest door.

7. Put on THICK leather work gloves and protective clothing on your arms and legs. Stand on the bathroom counter or the back of the toilet, yell "FIRE IN THE HOLE - STAND CLEAR!!!" at the top of your lungs, wait 3 seconds until everyone is looking at you like you're crazy, and then quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet (this is where 9-foot ceilings REALLY pay off!), streak out of the bathroom, blast thru the house at mach 3, and shoot out the door like a bullet. Fear not ... Once outside he will take it upon himself to dry off and groom himself.

9. Viola! Both the toilet and the cat are clean!

Salalorn · October 01, 2004, 01:59 PM

I love it man..... I'm slightly drunk right now at.... 3:58 in the afternoon and I'm laughing my *** off right now b/c of this.... I mean after all it is 5:00 somewhere right? :p

stay safe everyone,
-Sala

*Akasha* · October 01, 2004, 07:07 PM

I don't like that joke :sad:

Worlokk · October 01, 2004, 11:29 PM

:lol:
*Speechless*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akasha

I don't like that joke :sad:

Aaaaaw, poor you :sad: , you have cats right? I think you hosted a pic of them once, maybe twas someone else... remind me :oops:
I have 2 cats myself, adorable, Ill have photos up soon now that photobucket hosts me... ;)

Jubal · October 04, 2004, 07:16 AM

Akasha,

I have two cats, myself. Prissy (13) and Gizmo (5). I love them to death, but...even I was able to see the humor here. I can just imagine how evil the kitty in question would be once it was able to react to this "cleaning", hehehee.

I wouldn't switch place with the guy who did this for a million bucks. That cat would make his life hell.

*Akasha* · October 04, 2004, 11:45 AM

Different senses of humour... both my and my boyfriend didn't see the humour in the joke and disliked it.

To each their own.

UltraStatic1 · October 04, 2004, 01:58 PM

I sure wouldn't wanna be there

October 01, 2004, 01:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jubal Member	Im still crying laughing while I type this... First let me preface this with, I am military (14 years) and I am a catlover. I have been my entire life. But...I think all that did was help with the visualization necessary for the true humor of the following. Enjoy... The 'G.I. Way' to Clean Your Toilet: 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one swift movement, toss the cat in the toilet and slam both lids closed BEFORE his claws dig into the porcelain. Most likely you will need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Disregard the noises that come from the toilet. Remember, even though they will never admit it, cats actually enjoy this type of special pampering. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "power-rinse" and ensures that you get all those hard-to-reach spots. 6. Have someone else open the front and back doors of your home, ESPECIALLY SCREEN DOORS! Also have them ensure that there are no people between the bathroom and the nearest door. 7. Put on THICK leather work gloves and protective clothing on your arms and legs. Stand on the bathroom counter or the back of the toilet, yell "FIRE IN THE HOLE - STAND CLEAR!!!" at the top of your lungs, wait 3 seconds until everyone is looking at you like you're crazy, and then quickly lift both lids. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet (this is where 9-foot ceilings REALLY pay off!), streak out of the bathroom, blast thru the house at mach 3, and shoot out the door like a bullet. Fear not ... Once outside he will take it upon himself to dry off and groom himself. 9. Viola! Both the toilet and the cat are clean!

October 01, 2004, 01:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
Salalorn Member	Im still crying laughing while I type this... I love it man..... I'm slightly drunk right now at.... 3:58 in the afternoon and I'm laughing my *** off right now b/c of this.... I mean after all it is 5:00 somewhere right? :p stay safe everyone, -Sala

October 04, 2004, 07:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
Jubal Member	Im still crying laughing while I type this... Akasha, I have two cats, myself. Prissy (13) and Gizmo (5). I love them to death, but...even I was able to see the humor here. I can just imagine how evil the kitty in question would be once it was able to react to this "cleaning", hehehee. I wouldn't switch place with the guy who did this for a million bucks. That cat would make his life hell.

October 04, 2004, 01:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
UltraStatic1 Member	Im still crying laughing while I type this... I sure wouldn't wanna be there

October 01, 2004, 07:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Akasha	Im still crying laughing while I type this... I don't like that joke :sad:

October 04, 2004, 11:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
Akasha	Im still crying laughing while I type this... Different senses of humour... both my and my boyfriend didn't see the humour in the joke and disliked it. To each their own.