Eh...hmm...funny?

PeePeeBritches · October 07, 2004, 12:12 PM

Yeah...I was extremely amused by this.

Get your freak-on in the greatest story ever told...yours!

Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided is known for its combat, robust crafting system, player economy and exciting Star Wars themed content like Jawas, robots, cats and zombies. What many people don't realize is that SWG is also a great place to meet that special someone, grow a relationship and compensate for an empty and shallow real life! This all can be hard work so we wrote today's Friday Feature to help.

Meeting that special someone

You can meet that special someone at any time. On the subway, at work, in school or at a club for example. SWG is a gathering of people and yet another place where you can cross paths with that special someone...only with some GREAT caveats! Keep an open mind. I met my wife in a Turkish whore house six years ago when I went there to buy a kilo of nose-blow...it can happen to you too!

I've met 32 soul-mates since I started playing SWG! If I can so can you...just don't tell my wife!

The first step in meeting someone in game is to find a hot toon because everyone knows that hot toon equals hot piece of *** in real life. Once you find someone who catches your eye and makes your naughty bits tingle you have to talk to them and stuff. We recommend making frequent and liberal use of the many emotes available within SWG! Nothing gets them hotter than spamming /poke, /pet and /nudge over and over. Also send tells like "I never felt this way before" and "I'd rather talk to you all night than pwn teh nub". Eventually you'll score!

Next thing to realize is that since you are meeting people over the Internet you can lie your *** off! Immerse yourself in the lies and become the super model God said you couldn't be. Used to be cute and let yourself go? Not on the Internet. Never was hot at all? No one has to know!

The more you lie the better you will become at it and eventually you start buying into your own bullshit! Try starting small. If you are four feet tall, say your six feet tall. If you are a brunette, say you are a blond. If you are missing your left arm and have a gaping, puss oozing wound on your face say you don't have that stuff...err you do have the arm but not the gaping wound (Gaping wounds turn people off, especially when they ooze puss).

For those demanding suitors who requests pictures send them a fake. I like to use http://www.altavista.com/image/ and do searches for "Cutie Girl" to get my "pics"....and I'm a dude..and I'm married! LOL!

Cybering, not as good as real sex but you don't have to buy anyone breakfast either!

Now that you have done all the leg work it's time to reap the benefits with some phreaky cyber sex! Cyber sex pwns because you have perfect boobs or a monster dong and no one accidentally elbows their partner in the eye popping a contact out during the heat of the moment or farts.

The key to good cybering is lots of graphic detail. If you are slapping your love with a fish while moshing to music say what kind of fish and music, describe the sights, sounds and smells. Put him or her in the fantasy with you! You may be a hideous freak but you still have an imagination...USE IT!

UT-OH! My mate has emotions and junk

When you play the Crying Game your mate may actually believe you are for real and wants to escalate the relationship into real life. Now that's a sticky wicket...or is it!? Remember how we lied to get them in the first place? Why stop now!? If your mate wants to meet IRL just lie and say you will. Eventually they will stop asking or just go away. Alternatively you can just stop talking to them! It's that easy! We put /addIgnore in the game for a reason.

OHH EMM GEEE! I found out that my "hot" mate I lied to is a fat 45 year old married dude like me!

LOL! We've ALL been there!

First thing to do is end it. You been lied to and that's not cool! You deserve better. Anyway you should be grooming suitors round the clock to fill any of these gaps that may occur with a sudden break up or horrid revelation!

Always put the vibe out and you'll never be lonely....unless the power goes out! Hahaha!

boscolio · October 07, 2004, 03:29 PM

*shrug* tried way too hard to be funny. so i didn't find it funny. :roll:

oh well.

UltraStatic1 · October 07, 2004, 09:47 PM

Gave me a chuckle or two but the cyberers thread was much better imo.

Worlokk · October 07, 2004, 10:23 PM

Worth...reading

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraStatic1

Gave me a chuckle or two but the cyberers thread was much better imo.

[size=10px]yup[/size]

;)

Salalorn · October 07, 2004, 11:18 PM

/nods

stay safe everyone,
-Sala

October 07, 2004, 12:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
PeePeeBritches Member	Eh...hmm...funny? Yeah...I was extremely amused by this. Get your freak-on in the greatest story ever told...yours! Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided is known for its combat, robust crafting system, player economy and exciting Star Wars themed content like Jawas, robots, cats and zombies. What many people don't realize is that SWG is also a great place to meet that special someone, grow a relationship and compensate for an empty and shallow real life! This all can be hard work so we wrote today's Friday Feature to help. Meeting that special someone You can meet that special someone at any time. On the subway, at work, in school or at a club for example. SWG is a gathering of people and yet another place where you can cross paths with that special someone...only with some GREAT caveats! Keep an open mind. I met my wife in a Turkish whore house six years ago when I went there to buy a kilo of nose-blow...it can happen to you too! I've met 32 soul-mates since I started playing SWG! If I can so can you...just don't tell my wife! The first step in meeting someone in game is to find a hot toon because everyone knows that hot toon equals hot piece of * in real life. Once you find someone who catches your eye and makes your naughty bits tingle you have to talk to them and stuff. We recommend making frequent and liberal use of the many emotes available within SWG! Nothing gets them hotter than spamming /poke, /pet and /nudge over and over. Also send tells like "I never felt this way before" and "I'd rather talk to you all night than pwn teh nub". Eventually you'll score! Next thing to realize is that since you are meeting people over the Internet you can lie your * off! Immerse yourself in the lies and become the super model God said you couldn't be. Used to be cute and let yourself go? Not on the Internet. Never was hot at all? No one has to know! The more you lie the better you will become at it and eventually you start buying into your own bullshit! Try starting small. If you are four feet tall, say your six feet tall. If you are a brunette, say you are a blond. If you are missing your left arm and have a gaping, puss oozing wound on your face say you don't have that stuff...err you do have the arm but not the gaping wound (Gaping wounds turn people off, especially when they ooze puss). For those demanding suitors who requests pictures send them a fake. I like to use http://www.altavista.com/image/ and do searches for "Cutie Girl" to get my "pics"....and I'm a dude..and I'm married! LOL! Cybering, not as good as real sex but you don't have to buy anyone breakfast either! Now that you have done all the leg work it's time to reap the benefits with some phreaky cyber sex! Cyber sex pwns because you have perfect boobs or a monster dong and no one accidentally elbows their partner in the eye popping a contact out during the heat of the moment or farts. The key to good cybering is lots of graphic detail. If you are slapping your love with a fish while moshing to music say what kind of fish and music, describe the sights, sounds and smells. Put him or her in the fantasy with you! You may be a hideous freak but you still have an imagination...USE IT! UT-OH! My mate has emotions and junk When you play the Crying Game your mate may actually believe you are for real and wants to escalate the relationship into real life. Now that's a sticky wicket...or is it!? Remember how we lied to get them in the first place? Why stop now!? If your mate wants to meet IRL just lie and say you will. Eventually they will stop asking or just go away. Alternatively you can just stop talking to them! It's that easy! We put /addIgnore in the game for a reason. OHH EMM GEEE! I found out that my "hot" mate I lied to is a fat 45 year old married dude like me! LOL! We've ALL been there! First thing to do is end it. You been lied to and that's not cool! You deserve better. Anyway you should be grooming suitors round the clock to fill any of these gaps that may occur with a sudden break up or horrid revelation! Always put the vibe out and you'll never be lonely....unless the power goes out! Hahaha!

October 07, 2004, 03:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
boscolio Member Character Info boscolio 60 Gnome Warlock Azgalor US PvP Guild: Dark Echo Talent Spec: 43/7/11	Eh...hmm...funny? shrug tried way too hard to be funny. so i didn't find it funny. :roll: oh well.

October 07, 2004, 09:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
UltraStatic1 Member	Eh...hmm...funny? Gave me a chuckle or two but the cyberers thread was much better imo.

October 07, 2004, 11:18 PM	#5 (permalink)
Salalorn Member	Eh...hmm...funny? /nods stay safe everyone, -Sala