An old Gem - 101 Things to do when logging on

[mavric240]

I found this post at http://wowvault.ign.com/View.php?vie...s.Detail&id=13
The OP submitted this long ago but it still brought me a few good laughs so I thought I would share this with everyone. Hope this brings you all as much laughter as it did me.

101 things to do when logging on to WoWAuthor ShamanisticSubmitted / Updated 02-16-2006 / 02-16-2006Category_Name World of Warcraft CommunityDescription 1. Press 'Quit'

2. Creating a new character

3. Creating a new character deleting it right afterwards

4. Watch the intro over and over

5. Create an ALT character, enter World, then start making fun of your best friend on WoW in whisper and log off before he can reply. Then right after that log on your main and before he can say anything of what just happend you whisper him and deny it was you and demand an apology for accusing you.

6. Delete all of your level 60 characters then make a looooooong e-mail for Blizzard Support complaining about the unintentional loss of your characters which you worked so hard for.

7. Enter World with a level 1 ALT spamming the Trade chat in Orgrimmar for selling cheap gold. Although you don't sell any at all.

8. Stand in front of the AH and start having a heavy discussion with yourself in /1 general chat. Then when someone asks what is going on, you /1: "Who asked YOU anything?"

9. Put up a [Vibrant Plume] on the AH asking 250g bid and 350g buyout. After getting it returned to your mailbox with message "Auction Expired" you send a ticket to a GM complaining that no one wants to buy your stuff and that the AH is crap and useless.

10. Ask in general chat in Orgrimmar for people who want to join you for Scholo. Then when people whisper you if they can join you, you say: "Sorry, no time! g2g in a sec." and put them on ignore.

11. Publicly brag about how much gold you actually possess. When someone says he has more you call him a cheater.

12. Ask people to pull your finger. When people reply they can't you call them chickens.

13. Talk to an imaginary friend in Orgrimmar about your experiences in the army. And after each paragraph you say: "That's how it is in the army!"

14. Deliberately type ash if you were sho drunk ...hic!

15. Ask people if they like your costume. When people reply that they don't see anything on your character you tell them that's because you ain't wearin' any. And make fun of them for actually believing you.

16. Stand in front of the AH with a level 1 character and make up facts in /y why regular mounts are better than epic mounts.

17. Poke your nose and then publicly describe (very detailed) the outcome in general chat.

18. Take your level 60 to the AH and then ask in /y how to jump. If people respond on that in any kind of way you thank them for trying to help you but you prefer the help of Blizzard Support.

19. Create a level 1 character and try to convince everyone that you are a GM. So cool! So cool!

20. Make your character stand in front of an NPC acting as if you're conversating with him. Each time someone passes you use the macro: "Aaaaaah ... the good old days!"

21. Scream in Guild chat that your entire screen is black. Continue as long as people actually believe you. Untill someone says that can't be because then you wouldn't be able to see the guild chat. Then call that person a spoiler.

22. Keep nagging about how great other MMORPGs are. When someone asks you if you've actually played any other than WoW you show disgust and say: "Hell no! I'm a WoW-fan."

23. Type "Meh!" in front of each sentence.

24. Take a night elf to IF AH and start dancing on the bridge ... naked. Then use the macro: "FOR THE ALLIANCE!!!" every 3 seconds. Every 4 time you type: "(Can you feel the rithm)"

25. While running your naked female character in front of the AH you publicly discuss that you think there's too much nudity added to the game. When people ask you how come you run around naked then, you answer that wearing weapons and armor is too violent and you prefer nudity over violence. At the end of the discussion you say: "Peace bro, long live the hippies!"

26. Publicly try to compare World of Warcraft to World War 1. NOT World War 2, that just doesn't sound right. Just World War 1.

27. Instead of saying GM, you keep saying "Blizz-dudes".

28. You whisper people that they should fear you because Onyxia is your pet. When they don't believe you, you respond: "MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA ..."

29. Whisper strangers: "I think that GM has a crush on me! He's whispering me all the time."

30. Walk around the AH singing: "tututu... tututu..." Then yell you wish you could do a backflip.

31. Each time you leave your capital you /y: "TAXI!!"

32. When people in your party ask you why you don't use the flight path you say you think it's just a waste of money, and btw you had an aweful experience that one of those birds actually tried to eat you once!

33. When in a capital you run up to each person asking if they speak English. If they answer "Yes" you say: "Cool, me too!"

34. Keep singing: "Red Bull geeft je vleuuuugeeeeeeeeeeels!" In case you don't know what it means, just sing it anyway. But remember to keep jumping up and down when doing so.

35. UBER beg to strangers with writing problems! "Ey mate, can you gimme 50g pls? I relly relly reeeeeeeally need! C'mon ure sow cool, you got money for me, gimme NOW pls! A friend told me you gimme 50g! Gimme or I get angyr! You want me get angyr? Me can be VERY angyr! But ure soooooow cool... I dont ecspect you to gimme 100g, just 50. OK?
In case they tell you to go get your own money, just answer: "Why waste my time doing so if I can just beg for it? Ha!" Then move up to your next victim.

36. Use a level 10 ALT and keep repeating you REALLY want a mount! When people tell you that you can only get one at level 40 you impatiently say: "I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!"

37. When doing an instance with a party as a hunter, make sure you don't get appointed as puller. If someone else is chosen, let him focuse on pulling a small group so they won't aggro too much. As soon as he pulled a group you start running around the room pulling all of the mobs around as well then return to your party taunting "EAT THAT!". When you've reached the party with a large amount of mobs chasing you, use Feign Death and stay that way untill the entire party (or raid) wipes.
Once the entire party has been wiped, you start complaining about teamwork and decide to leave as this is your worst group ever!

38. Yell in your capital: "Who wants to join a nice and friendly guild devoted in helping each other and doing stuff together." At the end of the paragraph you add: "(btw, only 55+ are welcome)

39. When you're level 50 try duelling level 60s with full sets of superior or epic gear. In case you lose the fight, just give 'em the excuse: "Too much lag ..."

40. /1 LFG 5man party Onyxia's Lair!

41. When playing as a low level ALT, keep whispering strangers with high level: "Are you a newbie too?"

42. Create a tauren shaman, when done so delete it again and create a new tauren shaman. Keep doing so until your friends ask you what you are doing. Then answer: "I’m not sure what skin color would best fit 'The Elements' gear set.

43. In general chat, keep repeating: "Will you leave me alone, please?" As soon as someone says something to you, you explain to him that you have asked to leave you alone multiple times and still he didn't. So therefore you will report him to a GM for harrassment. (Remember to be very serious about it)

44. If someone wants to join your guild, tell him you demand a test first. When he agrees you order him to go to the Eastern Plaguelands. On your signal he will then have to travel all the way to Silithus and back as fast as possible (without using a hearthstone, astrall recall, portals or flight paths). After he actually did that you say: "Sorry, not fast enough!"

45. /1 Need 1 more healer, Warlock preferred!

46. /1 Need 1 more tank, Warlock preferred!

47. /2 WTB Baron Run!

48. Call out on /2 a list of items you want to sell, but make sure all of them are marked as Soulbound. Then, when someone whispers you that you cannot sell items that are Soulbound you reply: "But I don't have a soul."

49. Everytime you log in and out you say in /1: "Hi all!" or "Bye all". Don't be shy to add /kisses or /hugs once in a while.

50. Claim yourself to be the King of Azeroth. Most likely no one will reply on this. Then threaten to join the Scourge as well if no one will obey you! (Don't forget to add /grin)

51. Through /1 General chat, talk about how your parents first met. Then add: "/sigh How romantic!"

52. Take a level 60 Horde character to IF AH and get killed. Don't rez, let your body lie there. Then take your level 10 Alliance character to that very same spot and stand next to your level 60s dead body. Then act very heroic and claim this to be YOUR kill and expect Blizzard to give you an UBER PVP rank for that!

53. Discuss with people how cool it would be if Blizzard would implement the use of Atomic Bombs. Then get excited about the idea of owning with it in AB. Don't hesitate to explain in detail how you would solo AB against 15 players of the opposition using those mass destruction weapons/bombs.

54. Take one of your high level characters and enter world. Then brag to your friends about how overpowered your class is and how you own all other classes with it. Then log off, take another high level character with another class and enter world again. Now start doing the same thing all over again with this character. Keep repeating this as long as you have high level characters. (The funniest would be if you have a high level character of EVERY class)

55. Ask people to donate gold to you and convince them that the entire profits will go to the victims in Pakistan.

56. Try asking around how much one of those Zeppelins costs.

57. Whenever you are doing an instance with friends or strangers in a group or raid, you keep mentioning how great it is with 1GB of RAM after each kill.

58. Always refer to the expansion The Burning Legion. For example, whenever someone says: "Look at my cool sword" you reply: "Wait till you see my new sword once The Burning Legion has been released!" or someone says: "Aaah, I love this place." you reply: "Wait till you see Outland once The Burning Legion has been released!"

59. Make sure you always have something to complain about. For example:
- "Oh no, Shamans can't use swords!"
- "Oh no, Alliance got Warlocks, too!"
- "Damn, Epic mounts cost way too much!"
- ...
And whenever someone asks you to shut up, answer in a suggestive manner: "Freedom of speech!"

60. Be original, gather facts which few thought of before. For example:
- How many guilds in total there are on your specific realm
- How many level 60s there are on your realm and how many of them without a guild
- What the average population in Orgrimmar or Ironforge is in one day
- ...
When someone asks you how you know all these facts, just answer: "I got my connections."

61. Ask people if they want to join you for AB (Arathi Basin), when they say: "Yeah, can you put our group in queue, please?" you reply: "Nah, you can go ahead without me. I'll be fine."

62. Try convincing strangers in Orgrimmar that this level 60 Horde character really is an Alliance character, but for some (bug) reason you turned up as a Horde and spawned in the center of Orgrimmar. Then act as if you are sending a ticket to a GM about it demanding your transfer back as Alliance to Ironforge.

63. /1 "Who hasn't soloed Onyxia yet? ... LMAO, you must be a noob then!"

64. Tell people in a threatening way: "I know what you did last session!" Then tell them how many Honor Kills they seem to have had during their last session.

65. Have a typical Horde conversation:
Other: "I don't like PVP."
You: "Me neither, I rather kill Alliance!"

66. Have a typical Alliance conversation:
You: "OMG you've got a nice sword! I'll give you 700g for it."
Other: "Sorry, it's Soulbound."
You: "Ok then, 1000g!"

67. Tell people you want to race them from Silithus to Winterspring. (Don't forget to set your Hearthstone location to Winterspring before you go!)

68. Run around in Orgrimmar like you've gone insane and scream "WHERE CAN I FIND ORGRIMMAR? I NEED IT FOR A QUEST!"

69. I think it's SO cool if a tanking warrior in Strat or Scholo suddenly puts on his [Simple Black Dress]. It looks fearsome ... Especially when he’s about to tank the boss.

70. When you are a Warlock and are with a raid in MC, just press Need on Plate stuff. If anyone dares to protest on that, just tell them: “Oh really? I did? OMG, I’m sorry, I guess it was the habit as I’m used to playing a Warrior.” But on the next roll you press Need again, if again someone protests on that, you just tell them in an offensive manner: “So how about you warn me up front then?!”

71. While speaking of MC. Why would anyone join MC (or BWL)? … To get some reputation among others of course. So while doing instances like this with 40 people, it is your best chance to do it. After every nice kill you yell: “Thanks to me we didn’t wipe!” or “I didn’t hear any thank you yet for saving all of you!” or “I know, I’m good!”. And show lots of satisfaction from their improvised compliments.

72. Create guilds called: “Contains Guild Members”; “Ninja Looters”; “Enter Guild Name Here”; “Report Us”; “We need gold”; …
After they are created you leave and make a new one with another name like that. Keep doing it until you see your capital filled with hilarious guild names. (You can do the same with letters, for example “A” “B” “C” … and keep doing it until you see the entire alphabet in guild names running around your capital.)

73. Keep sending tickets to GMs with funny jokes in it. Most likely you will not get a response on it, but if you do, just act surprised and say something like: “OMG, I thought that was just some database to store some information in. Never actually thought someone else was able to read that.”

74. Be honest people, if you do something wrong you should face the truth and report yourself to a GM!

75. Whisper a stranger and act as if you are best friends. Tell him: “Hey mate, how have you been? I just did MC, it was SOOO cool. I wish you were there too. So when are we going to meet again? Wanna do something together?” If he should answer with: “Who are you?” you should show disgust and act as if you feel betrayed by your best friend. At the end of the discussion you tell him from now on he can play football by himself and put him on ignore.

76. Wonder why you can't pick a Hobbit as race when creating a new character.

77. In Stormwind /y: "NAAAAAZGUUUUUUUUUUUL!!"

78. /1 WTS Legendary [Blue Lightsaber] only 120g

79. When in a raid or party constantly ask the warrior to heal you when you are low on health. When a shaman, druid or priest heals you, you thank the warrior.

80. For those on a PVP server, never gank an enemy player in the middle of an escort quest. Gank them right before the end of it.

81. Send a ticket to a GM suggesting they add a bazooka and Ferrari to the game. Even better would be if you were the only on the entire realm who had those!

82. If you pick a Gnome as race for your new character, remember to suggest to Blizzard that you'd want to ride a Tauren as mount!

83. If you pick a Tauren as race for your new character remember, remember to suggest to Blizzard that you'd want to ride a Gnome as mount!

84. A smart way to gain lots of gold is to search the AH for valuable items with low prices, then you put them on the AH asking more than the previous seller so you make a profit out of it. Whenever you can't sell items, contact the previous seller and demand he buys back the item because no one else wants to buy it from you.

85. Convince everyone that you saw a naked female night elf in Orgrimmar. When people ask you where you saw her you become aggressive and answer: "I won't tell you, she's MINE!"

86. /1 WTS [Nightblade] 100g
Someone replies: "I don't need the Nightblade, but can I have the 100g, pls?"

87. Chase people and yell: “Gimme my shorts back!”

88. Be a criminal … rob the bank!

89. Be an extreme criminal … rob the AH!

90. Sit on the throne in Undercity. Ask some friends to stand in front of you and kneel before you. If there are at least 2-3 friends kneeling before you while you are sitting on that throne, you can be sure many other people passing by will join them. Once you got about 20 people or more kneeling before you, take a screenshot and post it on the wow forums bragging that you ARE in fact the king of the Undead!

91. See how people would react if you are level 60 and publicly ask stupid questions like:
- How come my character can’t get to level 61?
- How do I use talent points?
- Where do I learn new spells?
- What do I do with all my gold?
- Where can I get a flying mount? Are they free?
- How do you know if someone is Alliance?
- How do you know when you are dead?
- etc …

92. Dance with a male night elf and sing: “You know I’m bad … I’m bad … I’m bad bad bad!”

93. Ask people these 2 questions: “Are Epic mounts faster than regular mounts?” … “Why?”

94. Who doesn’t love beggars? How about you make more beggars out of people? If you got more than 1000g go around your capital, trade with lower levels and insert about 1000g in the gold space but don’t press the trade button. Wait a little and then press Cancel. Move up to another victim and do the same. I assure you that after a few minutes your chat will be spammed with beggars asking for your gold. Isn’t that just awesome? J

95. Don’t have any excuses in-game yet? Try using this one: “It was Blizzard!”

96. Why whisper if you can just talk in public with people? While standing in the middle of a crowded place, make sure there is someone there that is your friend, then start talking in /s about your personal experiences (good or bad). For example:
- How depressed you got when your girlfriend cheated on you before she eventually broke up with you.
- How much it hurt when you had kidney stones.
- How much money you need to invest in your car for repairs and maintenance.
- How your parents punished you for smoking weed
- etc …

97. When someone taunts you with /chicken you act confused and ask if chickens are rideable.

98. Try this:
Go to your capital and whisper people one by one the following: “Hello, could you please log off, I would like to play alone for a while now. Thank you kindly!”

99. And try this too:
Go stand in front of someone saying in /s: “Are you an NPC?”

100. Once you get to level 60 start bragging around that there is nothing left to do when you’ve reached level 60. When someone asks you if you have tried any instances yet, you reply: “Instances? Wots that?”

101. As soon as you have announced your level 60 ding in guild chat, tell them that you are now deleting this level 60 character as you have “Finished the game”, and come back online with a new level 1 character to start all over again.