The Man Rules

*Akasha* · November 03, 2008, 04:07 PM

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down..You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials ..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that .

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL OR BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

Elricc · November 03, 2008, 04:23 PM

I have this as a power point its great. BTW see sig. below lol

El Tanakh · November 03, 2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akasha

1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

Not months, years, that's right several YEARS ago, WTF!! How can they even remember?!?!?!

I have the strong suspicion that they may even remember stuff from decades ago.

Devicus · November 15, 2008, 09:37 AM

The stuff about sports can probably substituted by hobby stuff relevant to the man in question, music, film, computers, cars, whatever. I'd add that disclaimer. I don't personally give a damn about sunday sports but I do feel the straightforward men's way of dealing is easier. Every man has asked "what's wrong?" and gotten "nothing" don't expect us to delve further, we've shown we care, if thats not enough, you can find me in my room practicing my bass or trying to get my PC to work faster. Also, the one about remembering stuff is true, not only have we likely forgotten but despite our simpler nature we can change minds and opinions.

Also, if I remember correctly, the flying spaghetti monster said, about colours, that all men and women are made equal, except for colour sense, women have that, except the few men who know the difference between fuscia and (I forget the colour but it was a torqousiy greeny one I think). Both are wrong, men *can* see in many colours, when we want. However most of the time, like 16 colour mode, we ignore that option to conserve our minds for more important things. Like erm... errr *cough* aaah ummm. Anyway more important things.

Amrot · November 15, 2008, 09:51 AM

This is great, have a dutch version about the europian soccer (hate to say soccer) championship somewhere, altough that was more like a contract.

The what's wrong "nothing" conversation is mostly the other way around in my case (damn I feel like a girl now)

Other then that its great, gonna print myself a copy for my gf hehe. That your probaly fat one is gonna cost me tho.

November 03, 2008, 04:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Elricc Member Character Info Elricc 70 Human Warlock Barthilas Oceania PvP Guild: Grumpy Old Men Profile: Blizzard Armory Talent Spec: 29/21/11	Re: The Man Rules I have this as a power point its great. BTW see sig. below lol

November 15, 2008, 09:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
Devicus Member Character Info Devicus 80 Gnome Warlock thunderhorn Euro PvE Guild: Ultra Cohesion Profile: Blizzard Armory	Re: The Man Rules The stuff about sports can probably substituted by hobby stuff relevant to the man in question, music, film, computers, cars, whatever. I'd add that disclaimer. I don't personally give a damn about sunday sports but I do feel the straightforward men's way of dealing is easier. Every man has asked "what's wrong?" and gotten "nothing" don't expect us to delve further, we've shown we care, if thats not enough, you can find me in my room practicing my bass or trying to get my PC to work faster. Also, the one about remembering stuff is true, not only have we likely forgotten but despite our simpler nature we can change minds and opinions. Also, if I remember correctly, the flying spaghetti monster said, about colours, that all men and women are made equal, except for colour sense, women have that, except the few men who know the difference between fuscia and (I forget the colour but it was a torqousiy greeny one I think). Both are wrong, men can see in many colours, when we want. However most of the time, like 16 colour mode, we ignore that option to conserve our minds for more important things. Like erm... errr cough aaah ummm. Anyway more important things.

November 15, 2008, 09:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
Amrot Lurker Character Info Amrot 80 Human Warlock TH Euro PvP Guild: LwB Talent Spec: 00/40/31	Re: The Man Rules This is great, have a dutch version about the europian soccer (hate to say soccer) championship somewhere, altough that was more like a contract. The what's wrong "nothing" conversation is mostly the other way around in my case (damn I feel like a girl now) Other then that its great, gonna print myself a copy for my gf hehe. That your probaly fat one is gonna cost me tho.

November 03, 2008, 04:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
Akasha	The Man Rules The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down..You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials .. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that . 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL OR BASKETBALL. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.